Done Being Good | Sandi Konta
Musings about gender norms, hustle culture, perfectionism, boundaries, listening to your body, making space for joy, slowing down, and building a life from the inside out...for starters.
This summer reminded me the work is learning to be human
As the season changes and my kids return to school, I've been reflecting on how summer went. It didn't go as expected. Does it ever? The thing that surprised me the most: My partner and I fell into old patterns. There was only one week this summer when both of my kids were out of the house for day camp. It set the stage for us to slip back into more traditional gender roles. As the primary parent who is not the primary breadwinner, I expected (and wanted) to spend more time with them. They...
This summer, my daughter and I ran our own race
This summer, my 13-year-old daughter and I wogged (walked + jogged) most Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I was delighted to have her company. To have something to work towards, we agreed to sign up for a 5K at the end of the summer. Morning wog My only goals for the 5K were to stick together, have fun, and finish. I don't run. I wog. But mostly, I wanted to hang out with my kid. Pre-race Raceday finally arrived last weekend. After the race, the first questions out of friends' and...
Who knew a flower could mean so much?
Reader, I posted this on Instagram yesterday morning, not planning to share it here with you. But then something unexpected happened... This flower lives across the street from my house. It gives me hope. It bloomed with help from the rain and sun, but it stands alone. There's not another one like it in sight. Every time I walk by, I feel grateful and inspired. Growing can feel hard and lonely at times, especially when others are on a different path. But your growth will inspire others, too....
What is burnout, anyway?
I've heard the word burnout so often, it's started to lose meaning. And yet, it feels like an important part of my story and the stories of the women I work with. So I set out to dig in. Here’s what I found, starting with my own story. My story Even though I didn't have the words for it then, I'm fairly sure I experienced burnout. Have I told you the story of when I lost a vocal cord? I was still in my people-pleasing era, chasing approval with unwavering commitment. If I were being graded, I...
I picked up my phone 103 times yesterday
The changing of the seasons is always a time of reflection for me. As the school year came to a close, I thought a lot about how I want this summer to feel. My intention: slow, spacious, connective, and restorative. I'm sure there will be many moments that don't feel like that, but having guideposts feels good. There's one big thing I need to shift before my slow, spacious, connective summer even has a chance. I'm on screens way too much. I've had this realization before, made changes, felt...
What does it mean to be human?
There are so many moments in my day when I feel disconnected from my human-ness — from my intuition, my body, and my connection to nature and community. Can you relate? When I think about easing that sense of disconnection, I keep coming back to one idea: becoming more human. But what does that actually mean? I spent some time exploring, and here's what I came up with (would love your thoughts): ✨ I am fully human right now. What I crave is being unburdened from the conditioning that has...
What If Human Design could help you feel more like YOU?
You’ve been everything for everyone. And now you’re wondering who you are when no one’s watching. Human Design can be a helpful roadmap—back to you. Learning that I'm a Projector (my Human Design energy type) gave my inner voice a microphone and the confidence to: Better honor my energy. Redefine what productivity means and work in bursts. Proactively schedule rest or quiet time. Be very discerning about which social events I attend. It was like a permission slip to be myself. Want to learn...
I made things too hard, again
For years, I've tried to grow seedlings. While there are many mental health benefits to putting my hands in dirt during the dark, cold winter months in Maine, my seedlings always ended up sad and small. This year was different. Meet my most successful seedling EVER. ⬇️ After years of buying the fancy equipment and doing my best to copy experts, I learned... sunshine works better than artificial sunshine. Full disclosure - I live in a south-facing house. Needless to say, all my seedlings have...
shame and perfectionism: not yours to keep
I am not enough. This is the all-too-familiar voice of shame. In response, we tell ourselves If only I: → slept less → got that fancy time management app → did more → worked faster → was better at [fill in the blank] I'd be enough. Then, we hold ourselves to unattainable expectations (hello, perfectionism! 👋) and end up back where we started, feeling like we're not enough. It looks something like this: If this is a familiar pattern for you, it's not your fault. You are responding normally to...
My middle space: from rebellion 🖕 to softness 🌼
I feel like I'm floating somewhere in space. An uncomfortable yet familiar middle. Maybe this is what they call liminal space? ChatGPT says: A liminal space refers to a place or a moment that exists between two different states — like a transition zone. The word "liminal" comes from the Latin limen, meaning "threshold."In human development, a liminal phase is a time when a person is no longer who they used to be, but not yet who they are becoming. It’s a kind of identity twilight zone. Yup....
Musings about gender norms, hustle culture, perfectionism, boundaries, listening to your body, making space for joy, slowing down, and building a life from the inside out...for starters.