As the season changes and my kids return to school, I've been reflecting on how summer went.

It didn't go as expected.

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Does it ever?

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The thing that surprised me the most:
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​My partner and I fell into old patterns.

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There was only one week this summer when both of my kids were out of the house for day camp.

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It set the stage for us to slip back into more traditional gender roles.

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As the primary parent who is not the primary breadwinner, I expected (and wanted) to spend more time with them. They are 11 and 13, and while they are more self-sufficient and helpful than they used to be, they still need a lot.

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I found myself taking on more than my fair share at home.

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The mental load felt heavier than it had in years.

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Grief and anger crept back in. But also, surprise.

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Some part of me thought that we had arrived.​
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I was reminded...

There is no arrival

No destination.

No finish line.

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There is only being human.

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My partner and I have done a ton of work to create a more equitable balance at home.

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And, even though we slid backwards, we are still leaps and bounds from where we were.

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In the freedom and chaos of summer, we dropped our weekly check-in and schedule. In retrospect, it's no surprise we slipped into old patterns.

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Our relationship needs care.

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Our patterns are deeply ingrained.

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We're human.

The messiness of being human

Even when we stumble, take a detour, or feel lost, we’re still moving forward. (See "My summer" image above.)

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The self-awareness, wisdom, and resilience we amass along our journey are always with us.

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When the twists and turns of life surprise us, we become more able to meet them with more curiosity, compassion, and ease.

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Our truth becomes clearer, and our voices become louder.

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There is only being beautifully, magically, messily human.

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From one human to another,

Sandi

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