What if joy is your revolution?

Published 3 months ago • 4 min read

Reader,

In this newsletter series, I'm diving into emotions that our culture has tried to quiet in women. Join me in taking them back and letting them ROAR.

Last week, we explored rage. This week, let's reclaim joy.

When I was thinking about what to write to you, I remembered a conversation between Glennon Doyle and her sister, Amanda, about the Instagram post below that shows Glennon unapologetically living her best life — singing, dancing, and piloting her boat.

No shrinking. No shame. Just freedom. And joy.

During their discussion, Amanda revealed that on the day Glennon shared this video, she lost the most followers she'd ever lost in a single day.

I was shocked.

And, a part of me understood why that happened.

Being human means being triggered by the qualities in others that we’ve suppressed in ourselves. She radiated joy — wild, unrestrained, and free — a quality many women yearn for but struggle to access.

"It’s easier for the world to love a suffering woman than it is for the world to love a joyful, confident woman," Amanda added during the episode.

Boom.💥

And, for so many women, life runs on autopilot. As the 'shefault' — the one carrying the invisible load — we are overwhelmed, burned out, and under-resourced. In that never-ending cycle, joy rarely makes it onto the to-do list.

We can change the narrative and take joy back.

One small, nourishing step at a time.

What is joy?

While the Oxford Dictionary defines joy as "a feeling of great pleasure and happiness," I found this article to be much more inspiring - 100 definitions of joy shared by people from 3 to 93:

Here are a few of my favs:

"Joy is… fresh air, farm animals, open fields. The views from a mountain, good food. Joy is peace, harmony, good music and dancing. 45 years old."

"Joy is… a feeling that gives our life purpose. A breath of fresh air that gives me happiness. Joy is to wake up every day and to know that our family is together. A hug from my children. Joy is to be able to enjoy the simple moments in life with those we love. Joy is to be able to enjoy life from a child’s perspective. 49 years old"

"Joy is when I feel happy, when I'm with family and friends. Oh and slime... playing with slime makes me happy because when I'm feeling frustrated I can play with slime and it makes me feel better. Joy for me is inside out. 7 y/o"

Read the full article here.

What is YOUR definition of joy?

Cultivating joy

Joy is a Seed
by Mary Oliver

Joy is not made to be a crumb.
It is the sunlight we carry,
the laughter in our bones,
the grace in our unspoken words.
A seed rooted deep within,
sprouting wild when we stop,
look, and feel it bloom.

Let your inner child guide you

This was taken soon after my family moved to Maine (from Denver) in 2018. I grew up going to lakes and had almost no relationship with the ocean.

If this photo had a soundtrack, it would be a symphony of joyous squeals — my 4 and 6-year-old children and my inner child. Hermit crabs were skittering around our feet. We were joyfully discovering a completely new, utterly fascinating, awe-inspiring world.

This is a moment I'll treasure forever. It unlocked something in me that had been dormant. I fell in love with the ocean and felt the preciousness of my inner child.

What made YOU come alive as a child and giggle and squeal and feel utterly joyful?

Jumping in puddles?

Singing without a care?

Intuitive movement?

Making art without boundaries?

Dancing without restriction?

Laughing at fart jokes (just me?)?

What does YOUR inner child yearn for?

Joy in your spaces and self-expression

You can adorn yourself and your spaces in colors, textures, and art that light you up and bring you joy.

Experiment with color.
Try a style that pleases your inner teenager.
Wear your hair in a way that makes you feel more like yourself than you ever have.
Dye your hair a bold color.
Use makeup as art and wear your joy on your face.
Maybe letting go of a societally imposed boundary around style is what will bring you joy.

How can you bring joy into your spaces and self-expression?

Find a joy buddy

Your quest for more joy doesn't have to be done alone. Find some joy buddies!

Friends - Do you have a friend who could become a joy accountability buddy? Text each other to share moments of joy.
Your kids - Kids are the best joy buddies. How can you create space to become present and tap into their joy? How can you lead with joy and invite them to join you? Impromptu dance party? Family finger painting?
Pets - Playing with your dog or cat = joy.
Your Partner - Do you crave more fun and play with your partner? I do. What did you love doing when you met? What did you delight in? How can you bring little bits of that back?

What joyful revelry can you create with your joy buddies?