How's the transition to summer going for you?

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My kids finished school in mid-June, and like every year, it threw me a bit.

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Every time we navigate a big change, I instinctively take on more of the mental load to help things run smoothly.

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Then my family starts using my brain as a calendar, and I hit a wall.

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I hit that wall on Friday evening, as we were getting ready to go to a friend’s house for s’mores. One by one, every family member asked me what time we were leaving

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Unreasonable? No.

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But the questions had been piling up, and I was feeling annoyed.

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It was an all-too-familiar pattern.

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It made sense that they were asking; I hadn't shared the plan. During the transition, I'd dropped the simple tools that would have helped us all stay on the same page:

• A brief weekly check-in
• A simple schedule on the fridge

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As soon as I realized what was happening, I changed course.

Ten minutes make a big difference

Most Sundays, my partner and I check in about the upcoming week. We discuss:

• What appointments or events do the kiddos have? Who will be driving them to those events?
• Are there any stressful events happening that week that one of us needs extra support for?
• We rotate certain chores. What's the plan for this week?
• What family events are on our calendar?

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Once we've talked through the week, I take the next step.

A simple tool to keep us on the same page

I am the keeper of the mental load when it comes to family stuff, but sharing this simple schedule makes my life a lot easier, and everyone else feels a whole lot more empowered and clear on what's happening.

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I created this in Google Docs a while ago. Now I revise it each week, print it, and put it on our fridge.

I'd neglected to do that for several weeks. Without the schedule, we were all leaning too hard on me.

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We also defaulted into old roles. I was making dinner most nights, and he took on more than his fair share of the dog care.

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We fixed both of those issues for this week.

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This simple fridge schedule helps my kids see:

• What appointments or events are scheduled, and what time are they happening, and who is taking them. No need to ask me. 💃
• Who's in charge of dinner? YOYO = You're On Your Own
• Any family events that are scheduled for the week. This helps one of my kiddos who needs a little advance notice to mentally prepare.

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The schedule can be edited as needed. During the school year, we have more rows: pickup, dropoff, morning routine, etc. We will have to add those in for camp weeks.

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It only takes 10-15 minutes a week, but the benefits are huge.

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Now that we all have devices, I want to take it a step further by getting us all on a shared Google Calendar. I think it will make things even easier.

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Every time I notice myself slipping into old conditioned patterns, I remind myself that I have choices. I can pause, adjust, and begin again. You can too.

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What helps keep your mental load in check during summer? I'd love to hear. Hit reply and let me know.

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On a side note, have you ever coated a strawberry in Fluff and roasted it over a fire? It is shockingly delicious.

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Wishing you a lighter mental load and many moments of joyful summery shimmers,

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Sandi

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